Well, s**t. This timing is eerie.
Just two days before right-wing figure Charlie Kirk was shot and killed during an event at Utah Valley University on Wednesday, the website Jezebel published an article about how they put a hex on him!
The article, published on Monday, September 8, was titled “We Paid Some Etsy Witches to Curse Charlie Kirk.” In it, the unnamed journalist expressed a deep frustration with the conservative commentator and his ideologies, and decided to see if cursing him could put a stop to his “irritating” political commentary, noting it’s “not uncommon for [witches] to channel their energy toward thwarting Republicans (there’s even a subreddit devoted to casting nightly spells on [Donald] Trump).”
Related: Kevin Sorbo’s Son Thinks Women Shouldn’t Have The Right To Vote
That said, the writer insisted:
“I want to make it clear, I’m not calling on dark forces to cause him harm. I just want him to wake up every morning with an inexplicable zit. I want his podcast microphone to malfunction every time he hits record. I want his blue blazers to suddenly all be one size too small. I want one of his socks to always be sliding down his foot. I want his thumb to grow too big to tweet. To ruin his day with the collective feminist power of the Etsy coven would be my life’s greatest joy.”
So, the reporter opened up Etsy and searched “curse enemy,” where they got five thousand results and chose to purchase a variety of curses from different witches at different price points and strengths.
Among the spells purchased was a “MAKE EVERYONE HATE HIM” spell and a “POWERFUL HEX SPELL.” For the first one, the witch told the writer they’d “see the first results within 2-3 weeks.” Which was, um, incredibly accurate…
One witch sent confirmation of the spell being cast, the writer detailed:
“The next day, the Priestess sent me her proof of cast: a photograph in flames, the edges slowly curving inward, engulfing Charlie’s ridiculous scrunched-up little face. She whispered (I imagine), ‘Trust the unseen.’ Chills.”
The spells were purchased “perfectly with the August new moon in Virgo” — that’s around August 24.
A few days later, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce announced their engagement — and that’s when the journalist noticed the first signs the curses were working. Charlie made some terrible comments about Taylor needing to now “submit to [her] husband” — something that was bound to enrage Swifties!
Then, the writer saw that the Utah State University had launched a petition on Friday, August 22, to stop Charlie and his Turning Point USA tour from visiting the campus, per ABC4. The writer wondered, “Could this be the ‘MAKE EVERYONE HATE HIM’ at work?”
The evidence that really confirmed it for them was a tweet attached to his Tayvis comments, in which an X (Twitter) user wrote:
“His head is getting bigger”
His head is getting bigger https://t.co/O4gA0TFFt8
— evan loves worf (@esjesjesj) August 26, 2025
The writer teased:
“I believe this is it. Slowly over the course of the coming months, the circumference of Kirk’s head will increase inch by inch until he becomes a literal human bobblehead. Or maybe it keeps growing until it eventually pops. Either way, it feels… appropriate.”
But then just two days after this article was published, something truly horrifying happened. Charlie was shot in the neck while debating political topics with college students. He died shortly after at just 31, leaving behind a wife and two young kids. At this time, the shooter is still at large.
WOW.
Insane, right? Obviously, this is just absolutely crazy and eerie timing! Charlie’s death is not a result of this site, Etsy, or any of the witches involved. It’s a direct result of the lack of gun laws in this country. It’s still wild, though. Who could’ve imagined so soon after this was posted something like this would happen? Whoa.
In light of Charlie’s death, a note has since been added to the article:
“Editor’s Note: This story was published on September 8. Jezebel condemns the shooting of Charlie Kirk in the strongest possible terms. We do not endorse, encourage, or excuse political violence of any kind.”
You can read the full article HERE.
Thoughts, y’all?? Can you believe this timing?
To learn more about the impact of gun violence, visit https://www.apha.org/topics-and-issues/gun-violence
[Image via Charlie Kirk/YouTube]
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